Kelly Tribute

Tribute to Mary Cullette Carnohan                            October 25, 2009

Grey-green eyes that change like the weather

Sometimes hard and deep – full of pain and sorrow

Or dancing and sparkling with a bit of wit

Like light on the water

My little sister Mary growing up – she was both stubborn and vindictive. She once pouted for a full week – refusing to talk to me at all. Her Ken always chose her Barbie- not mine. She wrote the stories we played out together.

In the mornings, she remembered her dreams in full detail and living color. She could tell them so descriptively that you could see them in your mind’s eye – like last night’s movie.

Cullette was the keeper of the family words –the nick names and phrases – she called my cat Sophie “the beast” or “shark attack” and it stuck.

Her greatest and best loves were her cats – Catty, Keek nibba, Nancy (or Nantuna), Natalie Wood, and Lucy (who she called Lulu). And she loved dogs too, especially Ginger (my mom’s dog) and your dogs – every one of them.

My strongest recent memories were of Cullette talking for the animals – their voices from her mouth – they are happy and pleading – childish and innocent – “Ya but – I’m just a fur – I need a cuddle, mommy. I can help you with this project. I’m telling!”

She was obsessed with Shackelford and Antarctica. She loved Padre’s baseball and “Nature.” She would correct you about animal facts and she was almost always right.

She loved Rock and Roll music- exclusively. Some of her favorite movies were “The Stuntman” starring Peter O’Toole; A Room with a View, The Mirror has two Faces, Out of Africa, Postcards from the Edge and Lawrence of Arabia. We saw Raiders of the Lost Ark or Empire Strikes Back every weekend the summer they were in theatres – probably 6 or 8 times each.

Cullette could quote Seinfeld as though she’d written it, and would dissolve into hysterical laughter before she could finish the scene. It was the same with The Carol Burnett Show. Her amazing sense of humor was inspiring.

Her mouth was wide open – her head thrown back – guffawing – laughing with her whole body. Or her lips were set – grim and determined.

Cullette loved jazzercise, water aerobics, and taking nature walks. She never tired of talking. She loved to travel and shop – afterwards would come “return-o-rama.”

She read “The Good Earth” every year and studied her Bible every day for most of her life.

Purple was her favorite color and all her outfits had to match – down to the jewelry, socks and shoes.

She kept “The List” – all the products that she loved that had been discontinued- and she wrote letters of complaint when products or companies let her down. She was critical to a fault – a true Eeyore.

You didn’t mess with “The Cullette”. To incur her wrath was to invite a fire storm. And “the voice” rang down the halls so all could hear – a result of too many years of shouting at our deaf mother – it became a habit.

She was always prepared with a snack, or a pill together with advice - or a joke to ease the pain for others. She was both sarcastic and sincere.

She was the person people would stop to ask directions – and she didn’t know her right from her left.

She ate on schedule – and had a metabolism that allowed her to keep on eating. She always had a piece of bread by her bed in case she woke up hungry. She would eat it and try to go back to sleep. She needed absolute silence and dark to sleep – no hums – no white noise – no shadows that became imaginary spiders on the ceiling from the fan.

She could figure out how to do anything more efficiently than you were currently doing it – except when it came to crunching numbers. She had to close her checking account and start over because she couldn’t balance her checkbook. She WAS able to budget her time however – working on projects consistently for an hour at a time so they were always caught up. Her files and her letters were all in order. She was never late.

She was a faithful and enduring friend, maintaining relationships for decades – never forgetting a birthday – consistently writing and calling. There are 28 names on her postcard list.  She was unconditionally endearing and irritating. She never realized how much she was loved. But I do – through the magic of the internet – I’ve heard from her friends all over the US and the world.

Her shoulders drooped with the weight of all the trouble she carried for the rest of us – “her hump”. She bore all our divorces and illnesses, and my daughter Emily’s auto accident – she was there - through it all. Responsible and responsive. Caring and concerned.

We grew up knowing the name of Jesus. In June of 1983 Cullette was baptized. I wasn’t there to see it. I know that at the moment she received Christ as her personal Savior –her eternal life began. She was adopted into God’s family. Her home was immediately Heaven.  Her journey on this earth was so difficult. When she chose to end it, she had the freedom to do so because as a human being she was given a free will by her Creator. Like a drowning swimmer, she let go of the life line. She She longed for peace, joy, rest and relief from the fear and pain that plagued her here. She could find no reason to stay. Unlike “nobody” in Kenny Chesney’s song, she wanted to go to Heaven - NOW. She ached for a family and a home. Cullette’s arrival in Heaven was not a surprise to our Father – she did not go home as a stranger… Like the prodigal son, she was seen from a long way off and the Father ran to embrace her with open arms. All the desires of her heart are fulfilled. She is safely home – welcomed by Jesus – singing in tune – and laughing to her hearts content. Her eternal life continues…without end.

This is not wishful thinking based on words written in a dead language. Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father except through me. (Jn 14:6) I am the Resurrection and the Life, he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. (Jn 11:25-6) Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me. In my Father’s house are many dwelling places… I go to prepare a place for you… that where I am, there you may be also. (Jn 14:1-3)” God will wipe away every tear from (our) eyes. (Rev 7:7) and we shall be like Him for we shall see Him as He is (1 Jn 3:2) for now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. (1Cor 13:12) My Jesus is the Savior, the Creator, the Sustainer, the Healer, and the Lover of my soul. He is the Living Word. The apostle Paul said “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Rom 8:1) “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.” (Acts 16:31) Jesus said, “Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent.” (Jn 17:3)

Though my heart is broken and the loss of Cullette’s presence here with me is huge, I am confident that she has gone on ahead of me to Heaven, and that I will join her there on the day my journey on this earth ends. It is a joy and a privilege to call Cullette my sister and my friend. Because I knew her – I have been changed for good.